so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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