why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
