it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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