I'm pants shitting drunk right now
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie