do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.