guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
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started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions