remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
someone threw a dead crab at me
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
