Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
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