On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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