oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
