I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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