i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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