Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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