he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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