i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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