There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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