smell my finger.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
