i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
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alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
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The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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