My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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