Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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