I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
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and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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