Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
