Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I could fuck to npr.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
