You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
