so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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