i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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