I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
