Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
