ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize