how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
