We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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