sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
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To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
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His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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