She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
