Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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