What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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