I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
