Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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