Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
