Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
