I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize