is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
