Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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