I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
