I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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