I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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