do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I have aggressive nipples.
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