It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
