if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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