And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
oh god was she eating orange peels again
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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