Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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