2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
