Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
