he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
