he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
