I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
