last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Randomize
