My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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